Latin
by 1stpunch
Summary: The room is empty of both Sam and Dean, Cas slowly spirals into a panic.


Cas flew into Dean and Sam's room. It was oddly quiet for those two. Spinning in a slow circle he eyes the room. _Nothing seems out of place. The empty food cartons still litter the place. Dean's green bag of weapons is still on the bedside table._

"Sam? Dean?" Cas called out, his voice loud and clear. No reply.

"Dean?" He called again, starting to get a bit worried. Cas pulled out his phone and dialed both numbers, each one leading him straight to voicemail. He ran to the window and looked outside, the impala parked outside the door. His hands went up to his hair, running his fingers through it before interlocking them together.

_Deep breathes. In. Out. In. Out._

Nothing helped to calm him down. Cas did another once over of the room, looking for any out of place item that might help. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Something.

Cas kneeled down by Dean's bed to inspect the carpet. A dark spot stained the floor. It very well could have been from previous inhabitants of this room. Only when Cas touched it and did he see the red that stained his fingers and he knew just what it was. Blood. This came from Dean. Panic rose up in Cas like wildfire on a summer day. _What if I never find Dean again? What if he's hurt? What if he's dead? _Questions and what if's rolled through Cas' head, none of them showing mercy on him. Tears pricked at his eyes though Cas wouldn't let them fall. No, not now when he needed to save Dean.

_More evidence. I need to find something else._

Cas scoured the carpet, following droplet by droplet. The bathroom door was closed but it seemed that the path was leading to here. Taking in another deep breath he barged and and flicked the light on, only to reveal no sign of human life. Unless you counted the pool of blood left on the floor. Cas' breath caught in his throat at the bloody scene that laid before him. Besides freaking Cas out this made him no closer to finding Dean than he had been ten minutes ago. Anger and sadness washed over him. He wanted to scream, to call vengeance on whatever had taken Dean, Cas also wanted to cry, the thoughts of Dean not returning hurt him so deeply that it was nearly impossible to breathe.

A flicker of red caught Cas' attention in the mirror. Turning slowly he saw words that had been written on the wall. Of course they had been written in whoever's blood it was. He could only think that it was Dean's blood and that thought alone scared him more than anything. Cas carefully entered the bathroom, being sure to avoid the mess. He stood near the sink, looking up at the poorly scrawled words. The words were hardly legible, once decoded they still made no sense. It was obviously not English.

_'Tantopere me paenitet. Ignosces. Ego te semper amaui, angelum meum.'_

Staring at the words Cas realized it was Latin. _Of course, what else would it be._

He slowly translated each word of the bloody note. The farther towards the end that it went, the more Cas wanted to cry. By the end of the sentence those tears he had held back were flowing. He felt physically sick. He thought it was impossible to be this sad.

Cas re-read the words, this time they were spoken in Dean's voice. He could hear the pain and regret leaking through Dean's voice.

"I am so sorry. Forgive me. I always loved you, my angel."

There was no other person it could have been besides Dean. Cas crouched down, his arms wrapping around himself tightly as if he were holding himself together, as if his arms could hold in the pain and the anger that coursed through his veins. He had given up on staying calm. Nothing would ever be able to calm him after reading such a thing.

_Of course I forgive you, Dean. How could I not?_

Cas stood up quickly, turning to look at himself in the mirror. He could still see the blood red words behind him, the words still sounded in his head. Over and over he heard Dean apologize, begging him for forgiveness. Cas watched as tears rolled from his red eyes. _I am a useless excuse for a friend. _Cas thought to himself. _For all I know Dean could be dead and all I am doing is standing here crying like a fool._ His hands clenched into fists and he swung at the mirror. It cracked with the first swing so he continued. He continued until it shattered and even then he never let up. Small droplets of his own blood were on the wall that had been behind the mirror. The shards of glass did a good job of cutting up his hand. It healed quickly though. The pain of cut up skin was enough to force the thought of a dying Dean from his head. Only for those few seconds though. The pain still returned and forced itself to be felt.

Cas left the bathroom quickly after that. He was unsure of what to do next. Does he wait? Does he go off in search of Dean even though he had no actual lead? He checked his phone only to see no calls. His feet carried him back and forth across the floor. Pace, pace, pace. That's all that Cas could do to keep himself from screaming at the walls in the room.

'Angelum meum.'  
>'My angel.'<p>

Cas kicked something and watched as it flew across the room, crashing into the opposite wall. He didn't even bother to look what it was. He didn't care anymore. It could have been something of value, could have been important. Oops, a little late for that.

"Castiel?" A voice in his head rang. It wasn't Dean but it was just as good. "Cas if you're listening I need your help. Now." Sam's voice was urgent and desperate. Cas closed his eyes and the next time he opened them, he stood on a road next to Sam. He noticed that Sam looked in about the same condition as he was.

"You called?" Cas prompted, his voice coming out weak and quiet. Sam paused before speaking.

"I think you already know. Someone got Dean. They took him somewhere around here but I need help. I can't find him alone. Has he prayed? Do you know where he might be?" Cas just hung his head. His breathing still hurt.

"No, I haven't heard anything from him. I got, uh, I guess it would be a good-bye note from him. That was all." Neither of them said anything. It took them a few minutes to calm down enough to speak.

"They brought him here on foot and he was bleeding. Look for anything along those lines." Sam said. Cas was grateful for him taking the lead. The two walked into the rows of factory buildings, heads down and sweeping the ground of any sign of Dean. Going on foot only made the trip worse for Cas. He was tired and emotionally drained. With each step his hope grew that he would see Dean again, that he was getting closer but, with each step he grew more and more worried that it was a lost cause. If Cas had it his way he'd curl up in a ball for a century and just cry. He'd lay down and whisper to no one how sorry he was for not being there. Cas knew he couldn't do it though. _He might still be alive. Do it for Dean._ That was the only thought that kept Cas on his feet and moving.

"CAS!" Sam yelled a few yards behind him. He whipped around and ran towards the voice. As he walked he saw a small trail of blood that led to a door. _We found him._ Cas was more than relieved. He never let the thought of finding Dean's dead body spoil his mood. Though there wasn't much to spoil.

Sam leaned against the building, his hand tightening around the gun in his hands as he took in a few deep breaths. Cas pulled out his angel blade, not even close to being ready for what lay inside. Sam nodded and Cas reached to the door, opening it quickly as Sam pointed the gun inside and checked every which way for something. The two continued inside, each covering the others back as they moved as quick as they could through the building.

It was dark, cluttered too. Not much light entered through dusty windows and Cas almost tripped dozens of times. The whole place screamed scary but there was too much adrenaline coursing through Cas' veins to be bothered by it.

Hushed voices reached Cas' ear. Both men ran towards the sound, trying to avoid the blood on the floor that grew to be more and more.

_One more door. One more door and then there's my Dean._ Sam didn't even hesitate as he landed a kick near the lock. It swung open with a crash and one set of eyes turned to look at Sam and Cas. It was a middle-aged man, a bloody knife in his hand. Cas' eyes searched the room until he found Dean. Tears almost forced their way out of his eyes again as he saw that Dean's body was hanging by his wrists from the ceiling. His clothing was stained red where it wasn't torn away. His face was covered in cuts and blood. His chest mimicking his face. Dean didn't even move or open his eyes. Cas' stomach dropped at the sight.

The thoughts in his head swirled together, a headache pounding against his temple. _No no no._ Was the only thought that made sense to him anymore. Without another hesitation Cas lunged at the unprepared man, his blade disappearing into the mans chest. This man didn't even deserve the pleasure of a quick death. Cas stood there and watched as the man choked on his own blood, his hands clawing uselessly at the gash in his chest. Sam was so taken aback by what Cas had done but he knew he would have done the same. After a minute of watching the slow death before them, Cas rushed over to Dean, cutting the ropes and catching him as his body crumpled downwards. Sam appeared next to them, his hands held out in front of him but unsure of what to do to be of any help.

In a matter of seconds the three of them were crouched on the motel floor. Cas could vaguely hear Sam yelling in the background. He couldn't tear his eyes away from Dean though. He had healed all the cuts that littered his skin, had cleaned up the blood but still Dean didn't move.

"Check... Check to see if he's breathing." Sam said. Cas finally turned to look at Sam and saw that he was scrunched over in a chair facing away from Cas and Dean. His hands were tangled in his hair. Cas nodded even though Sam couldn't see. He knew that his voice would come out broken and hardly able to be heard.

_Why hadn't I thought of that? Breathing. Such an obvious sign of life and I never once checked._

Cas picked Dean up and set him on the bed closest to them. He watched Dean carefully, noticing slightly movement in his chest. Cas almost cried he was so happy.

"Sam. He's breathing. It's shallow but it's still there." Sam sighed loudly and walked over to the bed. The two stood there for the longest time, just watching him. Both were thankful he was alive at all. Even if it was just barely, Dean was still alive. That was good enough for Cas.

~~

A couple weeks passed and Cas never once left deans side. Not to help clean the blood, not ever. He stayed by his side until he was awake again and even then he never left. Dean enjoyed the company, though it seemed a bit odd, the way that his friend was acting.

"Cas?" Dean said, "what's going on in that head of yours?" Cas knew what he meant instantly. It was such an unusual behavior for him to be so... Clingy.

"I-I'm sorry Dean. I found your note in the bathroom. I found your empty room. I've never been so upset and alone in my life. The thought of never seeing you again made me cry. Even when Sam prayed and said he knew where you were, I couldn't help but think 'what if you were dead.' I-I feel weak and powerless when it comes to you. I wanted you to be safe and unharmed but that was the exact opposite." Cas hung his head as he spoke. He knew that Dean would just tell him that it wasn't his job to protect anyone. Cas thought differently. The emotions he felt for Dean were so strong, it was crippling.

"Well, sounds like someone's in love." Dean said, trying to ease the tension with a joke. Both of their cheeks turned red as he said that though.

"If this is what love is then I absolutely hate it. I wouldn't take it any other way either." Cas whispered. Dean was so surprised and shocked by what Cas had said. Dean had known his feelings for Cas for quite awhile. It was stupid of him to fall so hard but he couldn't help himself. He didn't know that Cas felt the same.

"Oh Castiel." Dean said. The two made eye contact and it was impossible to miss the pain that lay behind Cas' eyes. Dean scooted over in his bed and patted the now empty space next to him. Cas was confused on what to do but eventually climbed into the bed. His head rested against deans chest and strong arms were wrapped around his waist. It was an odd feeling, to be so close to someone but Cas didn't hate it, not one bit. The two laid there for the longest time. Occasionally a word was spoken between them but mostly it was just a comfortable silence. Dean couldn't help but stare at Cas' face. He looked peaceful with his eyes closed. Dean leaned down and pressed his lips softly to Cas' forehead. It instantly got a response from Cas. He was startled by the move, his eyes wide as he looked up at Dean. Cas knew that it was a sign of affection. _Dean? Affection?_

"Cas, I hope you know you how I feel about you. I do love you. Even if you can't ever love me back, I always will love you." Dean whispered, his voice breaking slightly at the end. The words processed in Cas' head.

"I may not know much about love and I may not be able to love you the way you want but just know that I will always be your angel." The words hung in the air. Neither of them spoke after what Cas had said.

Dean thought over the words 'your angel' for the longest time. A smile spreading across his face slowly.

Cas thought over his words too. He determined that the feeling he gets around Dean was love, that being so emotionally hurt over thinking he wouldn't see Dean again was a sign of love.

_Well Dean, I do promise to be your angel as long as you stay my Dean._


End file.
